Current mood:	naughty
Current music:	It's raining men.

Dear Giver Goddess...
Last year at this time, I asked for passage to school, etc.  Thank you for sending such a quick and timely reply.

This year, I have a somewhat more .. mundane request.

Wanted:  One male human within five years of my own age either way.

prefrences:

No -

1. Fat biggots.
2. Republicans.
3. Smells or mannerisms that weird me out.  I suppose it's petty, but if I can't get close without wanting to scream or go in search of smelling salts, what's the point?  (Guys who don't wash make me sad...)
   
4. Venerial disease.  (obvious)
5. Short man disease (The controlling, overcompensating mindset. Short men in general are fine.)
6. Psycho religious nuts of any stripe or creed who wish to convert or kill me.
7. Unattainable men who have some sort of weird thing for being treated like dirt, but not directly/openly involved in BDSM.
8. Unstable men who have MPD, or at least pretend to.
9. Men with severe 'mommy' issues.  (Wake up calls and cleaning detail need to have ended when he moved out.)
10. Men with owners.
    
11. Bizarrely possessive men who want me to move away from all family and friends and cut off all contact with them.  (As per all the 'true crime' programs I've seen, this is a Bad Sign.)
12. Men who are more mentally broken than I am.
13. Also please note that while I love gay men dearly, by definition, they will not give me SEX.  So, no.

YES - Note that not all are required.  Also note that if you think that something is sexual and it is not explicitly stated, you've got it wrong.

1. Gamers.
2. SCAdians.
3. Fen.
4. I would like to experience what an owner of six-pack abs is capable of during sex before I die.  I Would prefer to survive the encounter.
   
5. Stick jocks.  (Note that I cannot sew.)
6. Pagans.
7. Library geeks.
8. Yay tats and piercings.  Not required, but yay, nonetheless.
   
9. Has read "The Dunwich horror" more than once, and is not adverse to random Mythos references.
10. Has read "Girl Genius" to the point of having a reasonable plot discussion and disturbing people at a nearby table.  Same goes for HP, LOTR, or the Belgariad.
11. Bonus if they know what the acronyms HP and LOTR mean, and are dissing me for not having listed series that are far more obscure.  (Note that I will not read the "Wheel of Time" for anyone.)
12. Filk.
13. jhereg owner.
14. Willing to relocate when I find employment.  Alternatively, we should not leave yet still more mental scars on each other if we have to seperate.
    

I am aware that this is, in fact, more a time for divination and learning requests than for Random Sex or Lifemate begging.  As such, I will attempt to read his post-coital pubic hair in lieu of tea leaves. 

Thanks be to the Giver Goddess for enduring this request and not smiting me on the spot.  (Yes, I am aware that She does not generally Smite anyone for such requests.  I'm just saying.)

Blessed be